Sacred Seekers

"Religion is the map, but spirituality is the journey."

I did not grow up in a household that espoused any particular religious or spiritual beliefs. In fact, I do not remember my family ever having a conversation about God or what happens after death or anything remotely falling in this realm of discourse. As an immigrant from the Netherlands, when I didn’t understand the references in literature to stories like “David and Goliath” or “Daniel in the Lion’s Den,” I assumed it was another example of my glaring lack of understanding of the context and common cultural heritage and knowledge bank my American peers inherently shared. I found myself constantly shape shifting to pretend I could follow conversations and fit in with my peers despite my sheer bewilderment in these situations. If my classmates laughed, so did I. If they seemed sad or angry, I composed my face into what I hoped mimicked the appropriate expression of these same feelings despite my lack of any emotional connection to what was being said. It was a lonely, alienating experience. I found myself alone in the living room one Christmas Eve, kneeling in front of our brightly light tree, wishing I had someone to pray to for help. I was five years old.

I did not know then that humans are essentially spiritual beings. Despite our western emphasis on separating the mind from the body (a point of view promoted by Rene Descartes in the 17th Century) and valuing rational thought and logic over the less tangible world of the spirit, at some point in our lives, most of us find ourselves asking questions like: “Why do I exist? What is my purpose? Why is the world so full of suffering? What happens to me or a loved one after we die?”

According to the recent Pew Research Center Religious Landscape Study, 79% of Americans believe “there is something spiritual beyond the natural world, even if we can’t see it.”

All religions have largely formed as a result of humanity’s natural propensity to wonder about how we came to be on this earth and to seek deeper meaning and purpose in life. Belief systems such as Christianity with all of its various denominations, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Astrology and even Atheism are all expressions of this innate desire to answer these deeper questions and attempt to try making sense of this life, and possibly the next, if one believes in the continuation of the soul after the physical body leaves the earth. As people are born into families or are influenced by others in their lives with certain beliefs and values about the origins of life, the creation of the universe, and the Source or energy behind these events, they sometimes find a sense of meaning and belonging in institutions and faith traditions who answer these questions in a way that makes sense to them.

In their article “Conceptualizing Religion and Spirituality: Points of Commonality, Points of Departure,” Pargament, K. I., et al. make an important distinction between the terms “religion” and “spirituality.”

They define religion as:

“the search for significance that occurs within the context of established institutions that are designed to facilitate spirituality,”

and spirituality as:

“the search for the sacred."

Using these definitions, the researchers found that 65% of Americans identified with both labels, while 20% identified with only being “spiritual” and merely 5% identified with only the “religious” affiliation.

Why does this distinction matter? In my work as a therapist, I am witnessing a growing sense of disillusionment, and even disgust, among my clients who are finding their identification with organized religion, in the form of church attendance/involvement or affiliation with an established denomination within the umbrella of Christianity, becoming untenable to continue holding in light of the current cultural and political climate in the United States.

In his essay The Perils of Politicized Religion, David Campbell writes, “One consequence of the overlap of religion and political partisanship has been a secular backlash: increasingly, Americans – especially young people – are abandoning religion because they see it as an extension of politics, specifically politics with which they disagree.”

This appears to be a separate phenomenon from the process of “deconstruction,” which involves critically examining and dismantling previously held religious beliefs, doctrines and practices and the fundamental assumptions underpinning them. The process is frequently triggered by negative experiences in a church setting, such as experiencing or witnessing some type of abuse by pastors, staff, or other members of the congregation, being exposed to other world views that challenge the currently held view, or a perceived disconnect between institutional religion and personal values. When a spiritual leader “falls from grace” by being exposed in some sort of hypocrisy, moral failure, or other wrongdoing, it can shatter the trust of those who looked up to this figure as a guide and teacher offering wisdom and a safe map from which to navigate an often confusing world. Leaving one’s faith entirely is known as deconversion.

Deconstruction does not always or necessarily lead to deconversion; in fact for some people, their faith becomes richer and more meaningful as they allow themselves to question the doctrines they may have initially embraced without applying critical thinking skills to examine whether these tenets were compatible with their values and internal moral compass.

According to Brian Zahnd in his book, When Everything Catches Fire, deconstruction is “a crisis of Christian faith that leads to either a reevaluation of Christianity or sometimes a total abandonment of Christianity.”

I believe such a crisis of faith can lead us to a deeper experience of the soul’s true longing for meaning, purpose and connection. Without completely throwing out the concept of an eternal, higher Being that we perhaps used to or still call “God,” we can find a middle way between deconversion and unquestioningly “going through the motions” of the more traditional path we were on out of an understandable fear of the repercussions of acting on our growing discomfort with the status quo. These fears are unfortunately not unfounded. The costs of questioning one’s religious rituals and traditions can result in being criticized, shamed and even expelled from one’s faith community. This is a group of people whose sense of purpose and belonging comes from a shared set of beliefs and values that bind them together. When a member of that community asks uncomfortable questions that challenge the overarching narrative, it can send ripples of disturbance and discontent through a group that is cemented by cohesion of belief and practice. It can be difficult to find safe, judgement free spaces within the community to explore questions and different ideas and be met with curiosity and respect for one’s process rather than fear based warnings not to stray from the “one path” of truth.

Therein lies the inherent core of the discomfort for most of the seekers I encounter. Is there truly only “one path” to God? Were all the indigenous peoples with their own creation stories and faith traditions, so richly rooted in a deeply connected relationship with nature and Spirit, actually lost and in need of converting and “civilizing” by the well-intentioned missionaries who encountered them? There is an arrogance to this view that disturbs people who see the potential value and wisdom in other approaches to the Divine. And how do we decide which group actually holds the correct view of the truth? Ask any member of any faith tradition and you will find that their answer is, of course, that their religion is the one that accurately views God and the path to right relationship with this God.

Owner of the Curious Minds YouTube channel, Wyeth Austin, posits that, “There is a deep yearning within every human that wants to connect with Source, God, the Universe, or whatever else you want to call it. It would be foolish to assume that one religion or one specific set of principles is the only proper way to do so. This way of thinking shrinks your circle and drives separateness and division within humanity.”

However, adherents to “one religion” with “one specific set of principles” find it equally foolish not to believe that theirs is “the only proper way.” And if this is their truth, they will be invested in sharing it with others in hopes of converting them so that they don’t miss their only path to salvation.

There is a traditional Buddhist metaphor which describes all divine revelations and spiritual teachings as never more than a finger pointing at the moon: “If you watch the finger, you can’t see the moon.” In other words, we can get distracted in our search for the sacred by focusing on the dizzying array of different doctrines and their various interpretations rather than the Divine Source we are ultimately seeking to connect with.

If you have made it this far in my blog, I invite you to consider that asking the “right questions” may be far more important than finding the “right answers.” I am forming a group for “Sacred Seekers” who are genuinely curious about their spiritual nature and are open to learning and growing with others who may be at different points along the way in their own journeys towards finding connection with the soul in each of us that seeks the Soul of the universe. This group will be conducted from a non-denominational perspective and open to all who are in a space of seeking a deeper relationship with the Divine both within and without. Through a series of readings, guided meditations and focused conversations, participants will be encouraged to explore the experiences that have influenced their faith journey and to engage their own questions and those of others from a place of curiosity rather than judgment or fear.

Will you join me?